Saraswathi

Athai: Another of those characters who is 70 and yet to learn life’s lessons. My aunt from the paternal side, my athai has a large blooming face, sparkling eyes, fair complexion, snout nose and that gives her a gravitas in any gathering. She speaks softly and distinctly for a highly presentable impression. She is rotund and makes for a heavy figure and arthritis makes for laboured mobility.  

She got married to a Tahsildar who was worldly. He would sport different colour of angavastrams depending on which political party was in power. There were whispers of extracting his price for a signature and a philanderer – unconfirmed rumours and so let us avoid hasty judgments.

Athai is a character who goes to any extent to keep up pretenses. She puts a façade of respectability and conveniently shoves embarrassments beneath the carpet.  She is one of those characters forever persuasive and suave in social functions but there are rumours that she can be cruel and vicious. Athai never got along with her eldest daughter-in-law; again for a floating rumour that the DIL was prevented from attending her dad’s cremation.

There is a lot of floating rumours to Athai’s personality. The gossip in the family circle is one is never sure whether she is on the side of the angels or devils. Typical fate of one who crafts a social image, reduces life to a PR campaign! Again not unusual at all for women from North Arcot District; Viji, my sister, has all these Janus faced traits.

Her 4 children sided with the mother on all issues and dad largely a figurehead and sidelined. Athimber last years before his death in 2003 were full of suffering; regular dialysis, an amputation of the leg from gangrene, blood sugar reduced him to a pitiable sight. The children tended to him without grumbling about hospital bills and endless visits to the hospitals.  

Athai is blessed with a sweet mouth that you would easily mistake her to be a Vashistar in wisdom. She speaks soft and slow, measured words but the mind has little knowledge or wisdom. She is of the old block in terms of daily prayers and pujas. All the rituals would be faithfully adhered to.  

Athai was fond of me (rather gossip) and would call regularly especially when the house issue became so contentious in 2004 with my sisters. For her it was another of those TV soaps except that this one came live!!!   

Once I knew the purpose of these half-hour calls, I stopped elaborate commentary and instead assumed an abrupt tone as to terminate the call within 3 minutes. Soon she lost interest and gave up on me and the phone; much to my relief, if I may add.  

            Nature had blessed Athai with a face that earns instant respect and a mouth that is pure honey and yet there is little respect. It is this gossip lust and glib talking that makes others wary. You cannot go through life trying to please everyone; you end up pleasing none.

            She resides with her last son and looks after the grandchildren with such pomposity that it is family joke. Her grandchildren would address her as “Amma” and that is enough for her to take to the phone and spread her joy around. As one of uncles is wont to say,” She is 70 still hankers for love and affection”. The world around her has changed in the last 50 years and yet she lives by the 1960s page.

 (These are my 2009 notes):

Now for 2017 times: Athai is still around nearer 80. She stays in Mylapore with her eldest son. The worst tragedy was the untimely and sudden death of Prakash on 1^st July, 2017. It still shocks me. He is the first person from this generation to expire.  These must be grieving times for Athai. My heart goes out to her; but our relations are not such that I can take a phone and converse. She finds a lot of solace conversing with Viji and so I keep a big distance.

Verdict: Rajas

Lesson to be learned: Just be formal and resist the temptation to get intimate and friendly.