Sobering February

#160

Three insights here.

            First, I hate to admit this, I am wrong.  For long I had a chip on my shoulder about being neglected by my siblings.  But this counter thought made a lot of sense: We were from a dysfunctional family that did not teach us to bond or even relate. So all of us grew up like guests in a hotel, there was no family binding. To their good fortune, they found husbands and love and children for a purpose in life. I just could not  which I can’t hold it against them. Both mother and my eldest sister visited my new house, we promised to be civil and distant than be severed and coarse.

            Second, this incident shook me. I paid 1 lac as an advance for a villa in Kumbakonam in October. I was supposed to pay 9 lacs immediately but all those monies and more went into securing this apartment in Chennai. Yesterday I spoke to the Kumbakonam promoter which roughly went like this: Sir, I am terribly sorry. I was interacting with Gopalan who has had a surgery. I am more than three months behind schedule. Narasimhan said, “Sir, I have complete trust in you. With your 1 lac, we have started construction. As per agreement, you owe us 20 lacs now. The villa will be ready by April.” I told him of the bank loan and ended the conversation saying, “This chat warms my heart. I thought of transferring 8 lacs through netbanking. Now I will personally come and hand over the cheque.” 

            The third insight is APATHY. We live in age of excessive selfishness to the point of self-defeat. I was telling a friend, “You know what makes Chennai such a heartless city? We don’t care for others. Care has many levels: I don’t expect the level of care you would display when your wife or kid is in the ICU where you will drop everything and attend.” I have been in Besant nagar for three decades, only TH Iyer mama at 86 visited my new place.” Tambrahms in Chennai don’t realize the importance of visiting friends, inviting them over for lunches and dinners even once in a decade, a distant “hi and bye” kinds is no better than a stranger. All the humour, banter and jokes count for nothing if there is no care; primary first level care which a Mumbai, Blore or a Delhi has in abundant measure.

            Lastly I have grown a bit wiser in 2020. I no longer yank my mouth after this realization hit me hard: if you realize how little others think or care for you, you wouldn’t open your mouth. I watched “A beautiful day in the neighborhood” and “1917” for Oscar season. I am planning “Parasite” (Korean film), “Little women”, “Joker” and any Oscar nominated movie in town. These really engage, they inspire me on creativity and integrity in storytelling. That's how the time rolls here.