FOSWL Talk on 15/4

TH Iyer mama featured me as a guest speaker for this month’s talk. FOSWL stands for Friends of Same Wavelength and it is a neighbourhood gathering. We invite a speaker who rattles off for 40 minutes on a semi-spiritual or health topic and then questions for 20 minutes before we are served two Marie biscuits and a paper cup of Tropicana juice. TH Iyer is the President of this initiative and he really packs in good speakers despite the attendance never crossing 20.

            I had a PPT prepared where I segmented the talk in three areas: Definition of Mindfulness and its origins, Buddha’s teaching in a nutshell on Anitya and Dukka, and finally the concept of Metha Bhavana or loving kindness. I was at the venue at 5:00 pm for  a 5:30 start and one of those early birds and arrange plastic chairs. Yogalaya is a wonderful venue. The crowd trickled in and we started off exactly with Swiss efficiency; T H Iyer is a man who spent four decades in Germany and he observes punctuality to time scale of an European or Japanese metro trains to the precision of a 8:31 and 6:38 kinds.

            Ms. Uma Seshadri had gotten the slide projector for me to plug on to my laptop and project it on a white screen. She got everything including the white screen but forgot the linking chord to the source which meant no PPT. Since this is a subject I breathe in daily, it was no sweat as I planned my talk more on practical experience than a theoretical construct. TH Iyer introduced me to the audience and said,” Sathya is one of those genuine thinkers and he speaks so fast. I will now request him to speak slowly,” and got the show started.

            I spoke for 40 minutes and speaking before an audience is not my cup of tea. It is real time show and you have get a lot of things right including tone of voice, content should flow and you make eye-contact with the audience and throw in a smile now and then. I did all this amateurishly. I was adequate for the day but a long way to go before reaching professional standards of a MC or a TV anchor level.

            My sister was there and so was my brother-in-law and it felt nice as I could talk uninterruptedly. Speaking from a dais feels like a money lender with so many ears and faces staring at you and you are literally on a pedestal. There were a crowd of 25 which was the highest in recent months. I had personally invited over a dozen friends at the beach and but non stirred on a Sunday evening and an IPL match. Ravi and Jacob said: SORRY on meeting me next day. Satish the actor said,” I wanted to come but I had a heavy lunch and dozed off after putting the AC at full volume.” I realized that on the count of reliability we can write the names of our friends and contacts on the beach sand close to the waves.

After the talk, Viji got me Idlies and Bajji and a coffee for I was ravenously hungry at a self-service at Adyar Signal. I was sure excited as hell with all this talking and being the cynosure for the evening; being on the spotlight does not sit nicely on my shoulders. I would rather be a writer any day where you write to your strength and to your time convenience whereas public speaking is ON TIME activity but the rewards are immediate too. You get a round of applause and lots of people wanting to talk to you after the show.

The next day at the beach TH Iyer mama asked for the speech notes. He loved the PPT content and a couple of weblinks I had mailed. Mrs. TH Iyer and their son-in-law in Australia loved the piece and it came as a sigh of relief that this was not altogether a squandered effort.  On Monday the 16/4, I was feeling jumpy and stressed for a post speech hangover. Give me writing any day was the thought I was left after this experience. Teaching soft-skills in contrast is not such a fanfare and tension thing.

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Vivek and his wife visited me on 14/3.  This is my second meeting of the Saharanpur doctor in flesh, the first was in 2010. There is an air of affluence and positivity about the Banerjees. He said, “Both my kids are more or less settled and we as a couple are in a stage of life to afford monthly vacations. Last month it was Kaziranga and now Pondicherry.”  He looks so perfect as a doctor, a family man, a compatible partner, a proud parent that I envied him for a second. ARROGANCE and ENVY are two qualities entirely foreign to my genes but that day I felt a green monster thinking: even if I had 10% of his contentment and affluence, I will settle for them with unabashed glee and gratitude.

            There were here in Besant Nagar for 90 minutes as I took them to Vishranti in the hot midday sun. Vivek showed the Eliots beach to his wife and he also spotted a few rare birds which only a naturalists like him can spot.  On camera he said, “This is low end camera while my camera equipment is over 6 lacs and even the lens is imported,” as I told his wife,” Vivek and I are two unlikely characters.  He sees hundred patients a day and I get to see hundred TV serials a day.”  As they departed in the Ola cab I was left thinking: In my next birth I will be more than happy being a Vivek Banerjee. He packs in so much reliability and trust and competence in one frame. 

Sathya is a genius

Dr. Rajaram makes me feel special. I flower in his company. After chucking the plan to start PONGAL+VADA breakfast and impose on my Besant Nagar friends, I had another of those squeaky brainwaves of publishing a weekly neighbourhood tabloid with help from friends, of course, on the investing side. Everyone from the Prime Minister onwards talks of STARTUPS and so why shouldn’t I join the bandwagon and be its best ambassador?

           On 23/3 I whatsapped to the doctor, “How about meeting this Sunday weekend?”    The busy ENT replied, “Hopefully yes.”

            I responded with a lot of cheek,” I wanted to discuss a business idea and if we don’t meet this week then we will be hopefully friends?” I take zilch liberties with the general public but I am never short of over-smart quip with friends who have a stomach for humour.

            “Full of devilish humour, aren’t you? I will find an appropriate time on Sunday and meet you. Comprehendo!”

            I smiled and whatsapped: I am a pious devotee who has been praying for the Lord and when the Lord finally relents to give darshan, the devotee has had too much, he is way too exhausted and pissed off.” I added a couple of smileys and kept the banter going.

            On 25/3 I was proceeding to the beach when the Doctor called, “Sathya, I am starting from my house now and will be in Besant Nagar in 20 minutes. You had some crazy business idea to discuss.”

            My heart warmed up immediately for the ENT doctor is incredibly busy and for him to drive down for my sake felt that LORD indeed was karuna sagar, ocean of kindness.

            This is fast becoming a habit with us as he said;” Sathya, hop in and we can talk during a drive.” I kept regaling him as he drove through OMR then joined ECR at Neelankarai before we had breakfast at Hotspot at Thiruvanmiyur.” He loves my quotes as I said,” A smart man knows when and where to talk while a wise man knows when to shut up.” I also quoted him the Buddha’s “sorrow will follow a man with mental defilements like his shadow” or “his metha bhavana will follow him as the wheels of a chariot.” In doctor’s presence, I talk with the excitement of a 5 year old and nonstop at the 80 kmph. Dr. Rajaram in fact fuels my ego saying, “wow, that’s brilliant. Sathya, where did you pick that one from?” and it would be even more an incentive for me to keep my vocal chords rattling not that I need any in his company.

            I tell the doctor: there are very few people I love to listen and I love to talk and thankfully you trigger both my ears and mouth.  On the MY BESSIE project he said,” It is in your area of competence and even if you fail, it will teach you a lot of lessons. I will speak to my friends for a likely sponsor.”

            At the Hotspot table where we spread a plate of Idly and Plain dosa, he said,” Last week I met a mutual friend. He was asking as to why I stick with you?”

            I sat up with interest as to who this devilish mutual friend was as the Doctor continued, “I told him that in every interaction I learn more out of Sathya than he does out of me. The other man gasped in disbelief and I laid it to him: Sathya is a genius and he just does not know how to make money. None of us are perfect but at least we are nearer the money tree than Sathya who frankly is in the opposite direction.”

            I laughed and others around turned around at the eruption. I asked, “Who is this nosy friend who talks to you about me?”

            Rajaram answered beautifully: Knowing the name will not help you, it will not help me and it will not help him.  I smile saying, “Okay, have it your way.”

            As he dropped me at my residence he said, “I am glad to sit and listen to you all day for you are a genius. You are like an inventor of an airplane while I am a rustic passenger enthralled with the excitement of flying while you will be worried about those machinery and feverish calculations.”

            Without doubt I get so much joy interacting with this amiable doctor. We should record a conversation and put it on youtube for a definition of banter and leg-pulling and false humility. Dr. Rajaram is indeed the person who gives me the most joys for a companionship since the days of Balakanth.

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Again it was Friday when I learnt that my father’s paternal cousin T S Arunachalam passed away ten days back. I was speaking to my Bangalore Uncle when he dropped the news. I took his daughter’s telephone number and spoke to her on Monday.  I said, “I am Sathi. Only two days back I heard of your father’s death. I wish to meet you in person. How about Tuesday?” She acquiesced and that took me to the other end of the city in Virugambakkam. 

            I took a 5E to Pondicherry House on 27/3  leaving home at 3:30 pm. The summer is blazing hot now and body losing fluids all the time. The climate change and global warming is real if you live on a seashore and the afternoons feels a furnace.  Anyway reached Ms. Jayashree’s house at 4:30 and I was surprised to see that part of town. It is a beehive of activity and a throbbing college on that stretch of road.

            I am seeing Jayashree after 25 years. She welcomed me and narrated the last few days of her parents: Sathi, my mother had a block in the main artery and five doctors recommended a surgery. We did the surgery at Vijaya and she collapsed there, it was so sudden. She died in June, 2017 and after that my father simply lost the will to live. He was undergoing cancer treatments at Adyar Institute and he was really progressing and remissions and all that; but after mom’ s death he just did not care.

            Prakash got married to a handicapped woman and Balaji is alone. He has been working for 25 years with HCL and now he simply cannot stand (both her brothers are afflicted with muscular dystrophy).  Jayashree told me how she and her son Ashish would clean the aged parents including sponge baths and toilets. My son never shied away from cleaning urine and excreta. Even in the last few days I was pleading with dad to find some mental strength to live.

            This tale brought home to me the value of family bonding and my heart warmed up to bless the family. There are few real heroes in our times and the real ones are always swept under the carpet in this apathetic society. How much I wished that both my sisters had a fraction of this love and service.

            I came home feeling refreshed and even Jayashree said, “My father in fact everyone from my aunts Girija and Mangalam refer to SATHI as a brainy person.” I felt flattered and also the kind of impact I created even when young. Jayashree got married to a Hyderabad boy and so we were well acquainted in the eighties.

            I wrote to Vaithy Chitappa about the visit and he responded like a dream: Sathi, you are a genuine person to match your words and actions. I am so happy that you met TS’s daughter and they must have found strength from your visit.

            Now let me end this twin tales with a heavy dose of FALSE HUMILITY: I don’t believe I am a genius or great but if long standing friends like Dr. Rajaram and distant relations Jayashree and Vaithy uncle feel, then there must be some truth in there!