Bimal Nair

Bimal Nair: I have never encountered a man with a better gift of the gab. It was 2003 when I first chanced across him in an interview situation. Bimal was the Vice-President, Contract Advertising and I was the perennial job seeker. The interview went over 2 hours and at the end of it he was addressing me with a “Bahenchod” which meant that I was his yari dost and in his circle now. He made a job offer which I greedily accepted.

Bimal was short at 5’6” but a white complexion made his features stand out; a long face, flat nose, eyes pressed together, eyebrows that ran across the temple and getting weaker at the centre. His fat face and quick mouth made him look like a gang leader.   

When Bimal spoke it was like a mellifluous song. He really had the gift of narration; you can pay to listen to his tales of his NCC training or going to Canada on a government grant or his disappointment of not making it to the Air Force due to short stature. He has got that raconteur’s skill to tell a story with passion and histrionics. Later I found that he had a stock of half-a-dozen stories in which he would dish it out to anyone in the circle and each time the rendition would be just as fresh. Maybe, he used them as icebreakers.

At work, he was the monarch of all that he surveyed. There are few people in India who can match his expertise in “Direct Marketing”. Despite being a Vice-President and heading a branch, he had the friendliest of contour; he would constantly use “Bachenchod” – more a sign of being friendly than use it as an abuse. To be fair even when others returned the compliment, he did not push rank.

There was always something of an explosive about to burst with him around. He was agitated more than his share for such a top executive. He came to Madras for his first independent charge and messed it up big time; he sacked over a dozen people inside of two months and after the bloodbath there was no peace of security for the rest. Like, he hired me for an “Account Planner” position and less than a month served me the pink slip. It was this whimsical behaviour that scared the wits out of others.

Bimal had a kind of mouth that will serve him and others even in a hijack situation. He had the brain of a suave jackal – you can assign him to negotiate with terrorist in a hijack situation. But on the surface, he plays the clown: you will see him an excited teenager kicking imaginary footballs in the office corridors or pumping his fists on winning a new account. But be wary, one never knows when he decides to press the trigger for those bombs under the hood (the Airforce blues might still be bugging him) to explode.

I recollect a meeting when we were on the back-foot with a client and Bimal spoke over 2 hours non-stop and he got what he wanted after that marathon effort. Bimal is a kind of fellow who will lunch at the Oberoi’s and put his arm around the valet. He had an adventurous streak about him and coochie-cooed most of time with his wife in the privacy of his large executive room. He worked long hours and had an instinct to mentor someone; except he never found the right bloke.

He is one of those visiting faculties at IIMs on advertising and direct marketing and you can be sure that he would be the most popular of the faculty or be on email basis with the new crowd. He can dazzle someone out of their wits in the initial days!!! His computer screen would have his family album; his wife and daughter images flying across the screen or his various medals and prizes he had won including one at Cannes.

To my mind, Bimal will always be the quintessential Mallu; he was way too smart that it scared the wits of those around. More than a consummate survivor, he was a cunning jackal. It's this Bimal Nair to whom the two monkeys approached to sit in judgment on the share of the catch.

Verdict: Rajas

Lessons to be learnt:  Such people are socially very popular and play to game smart. Which means rein in your mouth.