I simply
adored this nephew of mine till 2012 and then we drifted apart. There is a some
tale in here and let me do a fast catch up for any readers to plough.
Kaushik was born a year after my
father’s death in 1990. Right from his childhood days this lad was extra cool.
He made no demands on toys, he allowed his parents to choose shirts and shoes
for him saying, “Both the options are good, I will take what you like.” In
short he was much adored kid growing in Bangalore AWHO colony in Kammanahalli
in the early nineties.
This boy always had this star
quality. For me it was lesson to see someone best loved in any company and
without effort or attempt at humour or wisecracks. He was silent, a few
comments here and there, not especially witty or brainy but you could sense the
innate peace of his mind. Kaushik has a mind that can stop a rampaging bull on
its tracks.
Then 2012 happened that left a crack
in the relation. I had painted the house and invited Kaushik for an
appreciation. He came, saw and left. I mentioned this to Viji, his mother and
this fellow was outraged. Some silly thing like: why tell my mother about this
visit? This fellow, 21 years my junior, sent a sms that read:
U Idiot. My response was instantaneous: Bastard, go
hang yourself and I will buy you a rope for free. Since
then I have not entirely wiped the slate clean, he never bothered to apologize
for the sin. If he can get so aggressive over a trivial non-issue then there is
no trusting a repeat of the same and I kept a arm’s length distance. In 2015 he went to Colorado. I made no
attempt to speak to him over Skype nor bothered with any emails.
He visited Besant nagar on 10th
January and I ensured there was no bad blood of the past to sully the occasion. My
sister Viji and mother accompanied him and they loved the renovation – new flooring,
new fridge, plants.
Kaushik has been in USA for over 30
months and he is still the same: I find him a bit over idealistic. But the good
thing is he has that feel for people. They came from a seaside temple and
brought a lot of beach sand to the house. Kaushik goes to the kitchen to mop
the sand! I advised him: either get married or experience life. Get into
outdoor sports and do something you enjoy in life. America gives you freedom to
be what you are, don’t squander it. Thanks to K’s visit at least I am on talking
terms with my sister.
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
Thanks to
MINDFULNESS that my last eight months has flowed with ease. I used this time to
make a mental inventory and remove most of the junk, useless thoughts in the head. My mother said, “ Viji was
saying that you have written a blog on all of us and not so kind. This is a
public humiliation we can do without.” I came home and removed the portraits blogs of Viji, Latha and Amma the same day.
Pilar Jennnings who spoke on “effect
of primary caretakers on a child’s psyche” in the Psychotherapy Summit and she responded to my Facebook
message of thanks. I heard Vidyamala Burch’s talk on managing chronic pain and
she indeed is a warrior of courage. She talks about secondary suffering and how
we create our own suffering through DENIAL, BARGAINING before ACCEPTING and
then FLOURISH. Now I can claim myself as a cognitive neuro scientist given that I have heard hundreds of talks on the workings of the mind.
I told Kaushik, “Junk all this
Bhagavad Gita classes. You reside in Colorado and so get in touch with Sounds
True people in Boulder. Only Buddha has the answers to a mind in 2018s.”
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
January was
also the month of movies. I saw “Aruvi” at Thyagaraja and it was okay, say just
pass. Story of a woman diagnosed HIV and scorned by her family who attribute it to her fast lifestyle, she takes revenge on the
society with a long lecture on “modern day folly of emphasizes on monies and
lifestyle.” Then I saw “My
Fair Lady” at the American Center and loved this 1964 production. Both Rex
Harrison and Audrey Hepburn can get a passage to heaven based solely on this
performance. When I told Ranga, he said, “Actually this is a Broadway show in
the last 1950s with Julie Andrews playing Eliza. Julie went on to make Mary
Poppins and Sound of music and I still feel she had a natural right to star in
this movie.” I told him, “I love these musicals high. I enjoyed Sound of Music,
now this “My Fair lady” and I also rate “La la land” very high.” There are so many movies you just love for OST like “Out
of Africa” and “The Last Emperor” and even “Beverly Hills.” Finally I saw “The
Post” at Satyam and it was the best of the three. This movie yet again showed
why Steven Speilberg, Tom Hanks, and Meryl Streep are Hollywood Mughals – sheer
talent and they are very good in their crafts.
On TV I loved “Big Fat Liar”, “Windtalkers”
and “Night at Rondanthe”. I asked Ranga, “Why is it that only Hollywood has
exclusive preserve to creativity? You can't imagine an Indian making a movie like
“Home Alone” or “Big Fat Liars” in a million years.” The great man said, “Their
movies reflect their society, there is more courage and openness in those
societies. Here our movies reflect gossip, manipulation, intrigue which is part
of our DNA. So this is comparing apples and oranges.”
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
I attended a
FOSWL meeting in which Uma Seshadri was the guest speaker. She spoke on “Hasta
mudras” and how these can be used for healing. I loved the talk so much that I
ordered the book of Suman Chiplunkar on which this talk was based. Uma ma’am as a
speaker spoke so slow that I thought: This is how I must conduct myself in my
soft skills workshops. Speaking of which, I delivered a two hours training programme at Ethiraj College for Women
on 11th January. I had 40 MBA first year students and it was quite
an experience for me on public speaking. I fared well as a trainer for a self-appraisal, there were
a lot of smiling faces at the end of the show. I pray I have more of these and
make money once in a while.
On earning front January provided little comfort
though I finalized a monthly retainer with Spot Media. Ramesh made a website
for me! It is www.englang.in and I am so
grateful to such friends. He also printed my visiting cards. Everything on a volunteer basis and no cost to me. Thanks to Mindfulness, I have so many
reliable friends and I value Vivek’s sagacity a lot and he is having the time of his life "wildlife-ing" in Corbett. January was good though it
felt I need to earn more just to survive.
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