Blocked calls

#166

If I were to die today, my entire being would flood with regret for an absurd over-emphasis on relations. We give too much importance to others, we even try to wriggle our way to their good books. That’s pre-digital age mentality. We were told that Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence others” is a gold standard for living in a society. Bull shit. I would write a more relevant book titled, “How to make life difficult for others at the first opportunity.”

            I am not cynical or over-dramatic here. The world has changed beyond recognition in the space of a decade: Being nice and courteous in this age is being a moron to the extreme. The joint family died in the 60s and 70s, maybe the nuclear family died in 2010 and now in 2020 it's me and my interests alone.  
            I am saying this with all the earnestness at my command: Please don’t be kind and courteous. Being rude and boorish is fine but it should be done at an art level. You need to be sophisticated. Don’t parade your SELF-CENTRED streak but serve it with layers in false show of concern; have sweet words for the mouth but no feeling in the mind. Your job and duty is to care only for one person and that’s YOU. 

            For me 2020 started with Ajay’s “I will ask my wife if I should give you a loan.” That shook me up as the thoughts gained momentum: The world just does not care for an individual. If you realize how little the society thinks and feels for you, you would not open your mouth. The only person who cares for you in this digital age is not your wife or daughter but online marketers. Once your number gets into their database, they will badger you on “personal loans”, sell a vacation to Mars and anything in between. You are loved for the money in your bank balance and not you; if you think someone loves you then it's maya, the ultimate self-delusion. Want proof? Lose your job, don't buy your wife and kids any gifts or lay infirm for a week - you will soon realize how hollow and self-centered all their affections were. 

Blocking spree: I need a guarantor for my loan and the first person I approached was Srinivasan. He said, “Give me a day and I will get back to you.” It's as much a smart stalling move as after a job interview “We will get back to you, don’t call us.” I waited a couple of days before blocking his number. Then I sought out Mugundavel my builder for a guarantor. I know he is as cunning as a perpetually starving rat, he has no morals but I wanted some humour as I kick-started this social experiment: Sir, will you be my loan guarantor? He said, “I am already a guarantor for a close friend, I cannot have a second one concurrently.” I smiled and blocked his number. Then tried Krish with the same request. I was under the illusion he cared until he chickened out, “Sathya, if I sign as a guarantor my credit score would come down. Then I cannot avail any loans in the bank should a need arise.” I was sorely tempted to block his number but I thought: if he were to ever call by mistake, let the phone ring itself out. Then I wrote to a friend in Dubai on Whatsapp: Man, I feel like talking to you. Would you call me this week? I got no answer as I deleted the name from the contact list. Last month I was happy to an exuberance to block Vivek on my cell phone, a friend of 13 years, on another grouse: He simply got into the habit of annoying me. Sathya, what have you done to your sisters to merit hospitality? That number went for a year before this straw broke the camel's back: Sathya, I told you that getting a loan is very difficult. Why did you buy this Palavakkam apartment now? You should have first made money in the stock markets and then ventured into these buys. Most sensible advice on hindsight but this is a classic “I told you so” on a burning deck. Then there was Ramesh, Yohanan, Manikandan, Rajaram, Prithvi, Siddan, Prabhakar who fell on the wayside for no reason. 

            In all these ruins there is just one person who shines; 88 years old TH Iyer mama. He calls me daily wishing me luck and hearing my laments. In this world if you have just one person to EMPATHIZE, you are fortunate. Napoleon lamented he had none to trust, Alexander the Great had just Hephastion, and I have my TH Iyer mama. To the rest of world, be kind and courteous but from a mile away. I must warn myself that any flood of friendship is wasted energy on a unsuspecting public. It’s a pity we are not allowed to carry guns and knives in our society particularly as human population is on an exponential rise. But in your mind, just kill your kindness and compassion. If not at least start blocking numbers on the phone. Welcome to the digital world of Aadhar and Pan card and 16 digit credit card numbers, don't think you are bigger than them!!!