Understanding oneself is writing a cheque to oneself
where you write boldly SELF in capital letters!!!
These
are the best days in a long while, never has my mind reached such peaks of
clarity and conviction. I used to do Vipassana sitting from the cot and they
got me nowhere. Last week I chose the other bedroom, and now the sittings have
gotten such a fillip that I look forward to them: two hours a day. It gotten a
fresh lease of energy and relaxation for the mind. I feel blessed with my
chosen path for a spiritual journey – from a born Brahmin now I am totally in
the Buddha way of life where there is no space for personal gods except a lot
of efforts in these Vipassana sittings.
2020
is special for me for this reason: CLARITY. The world outside is bewitching but
it stores no care and bonding. My one word description for the world is pUsHpA –
she was bewitching with her guiles but no good either in the short run or long.
It is selfish and self-centered to the extreme and so you will not grudge me
this pUsHpA metaphor. The alternate capital and small letters indicate the whims of the world. It's a ride in pleasure and pain but always ending in sorrow. Last week I spoke to Neetu on a whim and it was a
self-inflicted mortification, “Sathya, what
have you donated for the migrant worker crisis? I don’t agree with your description
of the wOrLd as selfish, it’s more your quality that your bring.” Each time I have a bad time on the phone, I
try for a compensate for a prospective ounce of sympathy. I called Krish and it felt Neetu was too kind!!!! I mention these two names here for they
symbolize the wOrLd – even a few empty words of solace and care are beyond us
which defines the world to me. APATHY, ENNUI, ABJECT self-interest as to topple
the boat each time. Such a worldview of the wOrLd is only mental conditioning
as we strive for SELF-DEPENDENCE, otherwise have a polite veneer in your
interactions. It is counterproductive to wear your feelings on the sleeve.
Vipassana
has gotten me to respect me a lot shoring up tons of self-respect. I like to watch
Trump’s press briefings and I have seen very few in my life with that kind of overweening
confidence. He hurls abuses to White House reporters that I feel a need to
pause and imbibe those lessons. Vinod
had that daredevilry in my childhood, Sherlock Holmes the cavalier
supercilious air about him and why should I not be just as condescending and
patronizing? It's worth practicing those gestures before a mirror.
These
are unusual eerie times of our lives. Who would have foreseen 5 weeks of
lock-down – three gone and two more in the calendar as we march to 30/4? I am
more than convinced that the human race and the health of the planet cannot be
taken for granted. Maybe we see Armageddon (I think it means “end of the world
as we know it”) in our own life-times. I am sure as hell counting on a tsunami
or a earthquake or super heavy rains to drown out my life!!!!
If
you are a thinking animal like me, you will define and re-define these words at
every opportunity and corner of your life: ME, WORLD and GOD. Me, I am clear –
a weak lonely man with the courage of a Hercules and Alexander. The WORLD is an
appalling observer (thanks to my 2020 learnings) and GOD is Vipassana
meditations. You are the only one who can bring comfort and cheer to your mind;
others are an obstruction. Maya is an illusion and a delusion that
others can be on the credit side of a passbook. No sir, others are always an
EMI of an outstanding loan and never an income cheque.
My
bank loan was on the verge of disbursal when Modi declared a lock-down. Some karmic
forces confluencing to add to my misery!! I speak to Ranga, Pandi and a Bharat these
days. My best friend is still T H Iyer mama and he keeps himself busy penning
his reminiscences. I look out of the window to see a crow cheerfully basking in
the summer sun, I am yet to discover such a well of
happiness within myself but I am getting there. There is a lesson here: choose your heroes carefully for you end up as them. I always looked to Vinod for a model, Sherlock Holmes and Alexander my heroes from history and art, and look where I am today - cynical of the world and supremely trustful of me. Just what I wanted and just about right.
Dhamma Mani Sir on Whatsapp (13/4): Glad to note that you have begun to love and repose trust in yourself. Everything has a time and I reckon yours will come sooner than later. Take fresh guard and be on the mark, get set and go....
ReplyDeleteTH Iyer mama: Very nice article. VIPASSSANA is really VISHESHA UPASSANA.
Musings Sathya style. Original always.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shivaja, you are always kind and friendly
DeleteAdvaita Vedanta does not require a personal god. The world is unreal and unreliable is a concept of Advaita long before Vipassana or buddhism
ReplyDeleteBuddha did not serve a lecture, he taught a practice to reduce mental defilement: anger, lust, hatred, fear. Perhaps he is only spiritual leader across centuries to give a PRACTICE, others were Harvard and Stanford kind professors who served lectures that even our grandmothers intuitively knew.
DeleteOh, so you think advaitic teachers such as adi Shankara, vidyaranya or even ramana maharshi did not give a step by step practice technique ? If you believe that kanchi periyava did not teach a step by step practice with continuous monitoring, you are grossly mistaken.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, Shankara, Ramana and many others have constantly said reading and listening is of not much use compared to practice.
Definitely not to the level of Vipassana - Buddha goes step by step and different stages to be reached. Buddha does not stop with it: He says it is the ONLY method for mental purification and it works as taught by SN Goenka in his Vipassana centres. I would recommend you to write to me at sathya.neted@gmail.com. I went through this route before discovering Goenka and it works. Or at least it did for me. From intellectual discussions and debates to something tangible.
Delete