Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Life’s trivialities – 3 insights

#154
I checked the meaning and it says “of little value or importance” but nothing gives more insights on life than normal mundane living.
            First tale: Thangam, my cook, was scrupulously duty conscious in the first 9 years of service. The last 12 months has been a horror.  She entered my services in January 2010 when life was throwing all kinds of bouncers at me. I was unemployed the whole of 2010, I was boiling inside after a woman dumped me in October of 2009, I still had fantasies of publishing fame. Thangam is a taciturn character to the friendly Meera, the earlier cook. We took more than a year to speak more than two sentences. In the initial years I was content that my food problems were fixed. Thangam is quiet German efficiency.
            I am very liberal as an employer - I give 4-5 days a leave a month without question. I also give my cooks the use of the ration card from which they get 4 kgs of sugar, cooking oil and other pulses at subsidized rates. Thangam is now 60 and fast ageing. For one who was never late by more than 15 minutes in the first 9 years of service the last 12 months have been a horror show. She takes more leaves than I can digest, irregular timings that rattles my cage. If you are supposed to come by 9 am, 30 minutes late is acceptable but not 11:00. This happened 3-4 times this month. Her reason is using this prime cooking time for her physiotherapy sessions for a sprain in the arms. This sloppiness makes me feel like reducing her bonus from 50 k to 20 k,  a gratuitous gesture,  as I shift to a new residence when dispensing with her service. What pains me that she just does not care or give an ear to my censures. I tell her gently, “You have worked for 10 years here and you have earned the right to take as many leaves as you wish. But please don’t promise to come at 8:30 am and call me at 10:00 saying you’ll be an hour late.  Please remember that there is a person waiting for breakfast and any delay after 10:00 is rats in my stomach.”  She just doesn’t get this simple message soaked in thick layers of SELF-CENTEREDNESS (Thangam has a rich selfish vein of selfishness). If I am having a cardiac arrest and were to call Thangam for help, sure she will respond but not if she is attending a physiotherapy session. There is an insight that Thangam taught me unwittingly: How much ever you are absorbed in your work or physiotherapy sessions, please spare a thought to the other person. Don’t be so selfish and self-centered as to earn the wrath of a very hungry man. 
            Second Insight: One of my pet scratching emotional wound is "try to hurt my siblings" with couple of stinker mails annually. My grouse against both my sisters is they have not included me in festivities for 3 decades knowing full well that I am a loner and zilch family support. I tried hammering in their heads that they owe me a certain hospitality but a drilling machine to make holes on a concrete slab would have been easier than putting any noble thoughts on their heads. I also realized that I get no support from them when I am sick (both my sisters never visit me in decades, so absorbed they are in their pre-occupations with their husbands and sons and daughter-in-laws and grandsons that a poor brother can’t fetch even a fleeting glance of concern).
Normally I write a stinker mail to them around Diwali for a yearly ritual and include in the "cc" their kids and their samadhis as my outrage and shaming them to people they hold near and dear. Yesterday I was tempted to write "both of you have such stone hearts that it will do you good to work in a crematorium. Your task would be collect the bones and ashes after the bodies are cindered to ashes. A few days work and you will realize the wealth and flesh are ephemeral." I kept debating in my mind before this thought stopped me in the tracks: In this world there is so much misery and sorrow, let no one - however much I am provoked - suffer on account of my words or actions. It's a nice thought to remember, so I repeat: I will not do a thing to wipe out sorrow in others caused by million myriad factors but I will not be the cause of someone's sorrows.
            Third tale: When I started the TOI job in February, 2007 I was asked by the HR department to open a salary account at HDFC bank which I promptly did. Though I have a savings account at SBI, HDFC has been my main operative account since then. When I sold an apartment last December and those people saw 1 crore in my account, the VP (investment) invited himself to my residence. We had elaborate exchanges on my risk appetite and expected rates of interest. Those blokes drew up an investment plan that to my rank amateur eyes looked hollow and out to suck me. For instance, they were giving me a 7% interest on Fixed Deposits when the outside market gives 8%. So I told the man in suits, “Thanks for the trouble. I will manage my funds myself.” My thinking was simple: It is better that I risk losing my monies out of my own steam than get someone who will tell me after a year and in the meanwhile enjoy fat salaries and foreign vacations signing up dumb goats like me.
            Last month I sought an appointment with their relationship manager asking for an overdraft facility or a home loan. They simply refused despite me having 10-15 lacs parked in my savings accounts at any given point in time.  I wrote to HDFC Bank CEO on the level of pathetic service and the branch manager called me saying, “Can I come and meet you at your residence?” The lady did not as much take any initiative to meet me in 12 years of banking that a simple complaint mail to the CEO got her jumping out her seat.
            In the meanwhile my builder Mr. Mugudavel, an enterprising man, urged me for a home loan to consummate the transaction as quickly as possible. He banks with HDFC, Kottivakkam branch while I bank at Besant Nagar. He requested those people to contact me. Those chaps visited me, saw all my documents and are now willing to give me a home loan which makes my life incredibly easy. The insight here is simple: Those who have known me for a decade just don’t care while a stranger sees merit in my case. The Kottivakkam team is speed-rushing my application and for once I thank them of their competence and decision making process.

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