Why blog? Why so personal??

I will keep this short with zero waffle.  Writers, mediocre ones especially, fill reams of pages much like school kids filling examination sheets with the mistaken belief that longer the essays the better the marks.

            Why blog? First, to store memories. I have my writings from early 1990s and when I read them today they give me electric shocks as it were. Nothing captures a moment than a written word; it takes you back to that day.  I was so enthralled in Bahrain during 2003 days that I would write 5 pages of notes every day. When I read them 15 years later, I relive those memories. They are not dimmed by time but it’s as vivid as it happened yesterday. So that’s one reason for writing.

            Two, my story of life is damn interesting. If I had a MNC job, a careerist woman for a wife, and all my kids in the best convents then this is the best what life can offer. But these don’t make for interesting lives. If you are Vice-President or Managing Director then the number of people you are scared is more than a fresher; there is so much more at stake and so much conformity expected. But my life is damn interesting – a man who suffered parental emotional abuses as a kid, moodswings in adulthood, discovering spirituality, heart surgery at 29, romance with a Sindhi woman (which is the North pole to my South Indian genes), almost did myself in in 2016, discovered Vipassana a decade back and Mindfulness couple of years back. Again I reiterate my life is so damn interesting. There are not very many people in this world who have not celebrated any festivals for three decades; there is heroism in my tale. There are not very many who have healed bipolar without family support or without mood-stabilizing drugs.

            Why go so personal? I only write superficially. I have had some really dark moments in my life that I am scared to write. For instance, I still can’t get to write my near death experience (NDE) after my heart surgery in 1998, or my meeting different miracle men in 2015-16 years when suicidal thoughts floated on the surface and underneath, to near self-inflicted death in Theni 2016 and so many very, very dark experiences. I have not written most of these tales for I have not processed them as yet. And even if I did write they will not be published in a blog forum.

            Writing heals. Writing gives perspective. Nothing in the world captures a person’s moods and times than the written word. Writing if honestly done is a study of movement of time and space and aspirations. Writing also is the celebration of human emotions. Writing inspires for quite often the experience of one person is the history and pathos of mankind. We don’t live in numbers of GDP and population density but we all live in terms of our daily experiences – the thoughts we think, the feelings we feel, and frozen emotions that so helplessly drives all over lives around. We are a universe to ourselves no less interesting and exciting than the cosmos. We are the oceans and mountains and the valleys and the storms and the depressions as we navigate in our search for peace and happiness. We are verily the creators of the universe not just a passing visitor. That is why we still read a Harriet Beecher Stowe, AJ Cronin, laugh at the antics of Wooster in a PG Wodehouse, follow the trails of a Sherlock Holmes and get inspired by a Alexander the Great who believed he had conquered all of earth 300 years before Christ. 

            So that is why I blog. Standing in front of a mirror and my honesty with words gives the rest of the world a chance to look at life’s possibilities. Life is infinitely interesting in its permutations and combinations; there is so much of energy and passions. Do I need say more?