We get it all wrong!

#181

This is my “Eureka” moment. Remember Archimedes who got so excited that he ran naked on the street to meet the king having found a way to determine the purity of gold.  The word “eureka” is rich in meaning: a common experience that suddenly makes sense of an earlier incomprehensible problem for a “Aha” moment.

            Today my quicksilver mind hit this shore for a thought: we are fools in search of a paradise where peace abounds, there is understanding, there is love and everything positive about the place. It’s sheer lunatic fantasy. There's no kingdom of heaven, we are inhabitants of hell. The concept of happiness is a philosopher's quest and a poet's aspiration but in reality there is no such thing. Everyone I know goes through rivers of sorrow - some more intense than others. But the background music of sadness is an Einstein constant!!!! So if you drop your silly quest for happiness, be comfortable in your moroseness it makes living so much easier. However ecstatic a honeymoon was, you always hit the ground to a sad state as a pendulum swing.  Any search or spiritual practice for HARMONY, PEACE, HAPPINESS is a mirage; an illusion and a mad dog’s lunacy contracted by rabies. As human beings we are born out of sorrow (product of two miserable parents who got horny) and everything from birth is a journey in pain. Of course there is pleasure once in a blue moon in a third world country like India.  But as a thumb rule expect sorrow and misery as a natural state of mind. We are condemned to row in islands of anger, betrayal, hostility, jealousy, arrogance, lust. 

Each time you despair, get a self-serving perspective: It could have been worse. Look around there are millions suffering on an unimaginable scale.... 5 years girl carrying a baby half her size at traffic signals, lost limbs and stumped beggars at a temple entrance, grieving widows as the body of a husband starts towards a funeral. There are a million situations of sadness, we are all in line. So after each meal thank yourself, upon waking up “experience a genuine surprise and wonderment”, after every salary deposited in your bank account “dance with joy”. You have all it takes to survive in a dacoit society. Don’t do one act of kindness to others; heap love, understanding, gratitude and forgiveness on yourself alone. Since we live in a society it pays to be civil in your “good mornings” and “false smiles”. Treasure just one soul in the universe; the perpendicular pronoun “I”.

Is there happiness after death? I suppose not. Expect sadness, betrayal, apathy at every corner; then a stray act of kindness would be a balm. My simple argument in this blog post is "Don't covet peace or harmony or happiness" for it's an addictive drug for a misplaced understanding of life. We expect happiness and peace as a birthright and when denied it's disconcerting. Every one of us wants love and respect; we don't get them as we deny these gifts to others. The Indian system defeats us so often that we longer feel special to ourselves. 

My cynicism is complete. It should take a brave man or a woman to marry. I think it's a good idea that prior to a wedding the priest has a private chat: Step into the world of sadness; be prepared for running noses, bawling babies, everyday fights, insipid sex, unpaid bills, bully bosses, constant job losses and also add a pandemic. Now tell me, do you Mr. X take Y to be your legally wedded wife. No my honour. Numerically there are more thorns than roses, more worms than birds, more gross men than wholesome ones ..... ...hence more misery than moments of happiness.  
   When this thought hit me in the morning, I was stumped. The truth was staring at my face for 51 years yet I was slow on the uptake. So this is my “Eureka” moment. Each experience of living tells me just this: You and you alone matter. Don’t expect a residency visa on an island of pure joy, pure peace, pure happiness, pure tranquility. These are con words; revel in your imperfections, celebrate your negativity, and when positivity surfaces on rare occasions treat them as an imposter. That’s the truth of this world and the next.