November images

This one post-a-month ramble is good discipline for me. It records my days in the sun for later reading. Writing adds perspective when you are honest enough to observe and record. A human mind goes through so many fluctuations in a day; a mind has a capacity to hold contrary views and even contrary emotions at the same time. This is getting a bit abstract, let me focus. At Abu Dhabi, even six months back, I only thought about Mohan and Adline team for 90% of my waking hours. Now I don’t waste even a second, time in its run adds and subtracts many things. Your life flows in directions and paths you’d never imagine!

            2014 has been a good year. One word strikes the mind, workmanlike. I came back from UAE at the end of May knowing fully well that it would months before I would get another job offer. So I went on Vipassana retreats in Chennai, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kolhapur. Those were real gains. The hours of meditations have definitely eroded my negative emotions of fear and depression substantially. I feel a lot tranquil and less rebellious about my lot.

            Then those transcriptions on http://spiritualsathya.blogspot.in/. I added over 30 posts this year. Believe it or not, in the last six months fourteen strangers across the world have written to me applauding my efforts.

            Earlier I would transcribe just three posts a year: Swamiji’s talks on New Year, Sivaratri and Gurupoornima. This year I worked on Sandhyavandanam and Bhagavad Gita summaries. I resolve to take one topic each year apart from these three special talks. 2015 should be Bhaja Govindam. This is a small thing but look at the sense of purpose it gives to the mind.

            2014 would have ended an average year but for http://damienbosses.blogspot.in/ getting active again. I have done very little creative writing this year. But each time I get those creative juices going I feel alive and kicking. 14 posts so far and I plan to add at least 30 more before the clock heralds the New Year.

It is not that everything I write I jump with joy. Out of hundred things I write, may be only 5 or 6 would fill me with pride. Last year I loved the eight part Nagarjuna Sagar series. It flowed without perspiration! This office humour series is short 500-600 words range; it needs vivid mental imagery and deftness in crafting. Besides I am not labouring for a smart line or a laugh in the end. I am more than happy if a tale is nicely told. And that’s never easy!  

            My father’s ceremony was on 7^th November and mother and sisters attended. This is only time in a year we gather. My relations with both my sisters are cordial; we don’t gush but neither do we turn our faces away. It is unlikely they would help me when hospitalized or when my money runs dry. Neither do they force their issues on me. But when we meet we smile and engage in small talk and that suits everybody.

            I met Ranga after three months and had a wonderful time at Maris. It is a bar and that’s where we quench our whiskies. I was cribbing about my loneliness to Ranga. The wise man reasoned: It does not matter whether you live in a family of hundred or you are alone. You can always be popular when you are willing to talk on other’s terms of reference. Like you may want to talk about Led Zeppelin, while they insist on talking about Billy Joel!  Sathya, you talk on your frame of reference and that’s not a bad start. Besides not all people who live in close-bound families relate with one another, this gave me some solace and food for thought.

            I asked Ranga another question: you are such a wise person and why do you interact with chaffs like me?  I was having a dosa at the restaurant and Ranga explained: look, you have got to pay for this dosa now or later but there is no avoidance. Similarly when any situation or people are thrust before me, I consider them as God’s will. I don’t avoid them; if I do then I have to pay the bill at a later time. I try to do my best in all honesty. I really fortunate to tap into this level of wisdom; Ranga is a university or those large banyan trees that never run of knowledge and shade.

            Ranga recommended me “Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell”. This is my first read of 2014 and the book helped me revisit some of my past notions. Simply put, a person is a factor of so many things like family and also opportunities that nature sets along in the way. It is a sequence of dots and there is wonderful rationale to it on hindsight. I enjoyed the book.

            Six months of unemployment is butterflies in the stomach. The mind feels washed out. I wrote to Zaidi my IMT batchmate for assistance. He spoke to me from Tokyo and followed by a mail: Sathya, we are this job hunt together. I will access all my contacts and even people I don’t know on the cause. Then he writes: Don’t you realize that the world is existent only for YOU and everybody else are stage-managed and a prop. What a liberating thought.

            Right now, my attention is on those http://damienbosses.blogspot.in/ posts. I have extensive notes of the times when Mohan grinded us to the ground as a betel crusher. I still have more than 30 anecdotes to capture. Writing is so whimsical a whore that I have often felt my mind go blank. Creative writing needs a state of mind; fresh, daring to experiment and in a mood to have fun with words.

            I end this month’s rambling with my Sunday Vipassana sittings at T-nagar. Arvind Dikshitdar is truly a dhamma brother. He said,” Sathya, come regularly and be a partner. Please come early and help me set the sound system.” I have known him since my Vipassana initiation in 2008. I get affection each time I see him.