Get up and pick up the pieces

#105 post: On 30^th July I simply knew without a shadow of doubt that I was defrauded. 

Uma Gayathri spun a huge monster of a tale and I lost over a lac. I felt no shame losing this money to a con-genius. At every stage she was ahead of the game. I met the Deputy Commissioner on 1^st August for a formal complaint. He was so young and so energetic that it felt reassuring though Ramesh said, “Consider this as Perumal koil hundi” and Srinivasan said, “Treat it as a learning curve, you had to pay for your stupidity.” As for me, I never moaned the loss even for a second.

            As the days advanced, I did feel the loss of Dubai images- clean roads, everything structured, tall skyscrapers, shopper’s paradise, decent interactions but it is a closed society and one is ever vigilant and fearful that you could commit a crime or trespass some law. UAE is a law abiding country; you can throw your wallet on the roads and it will find its way back to you. Zero per cent crime, good honest hardworking class, money and riches at every corner of the eyes but it still is not your country. Whatever views you have on religion, nationality, politics; you shove it in your mouth and not air it out.  Losing UAE dream is nothing compared to losing the romantic dreams in 2009; that took me couple of years to recover.

            My next career move is most likely Gurgaon. Let’s see how the rest of the year shapes up. I feel the NCR region would have better things for me than the dead man’s city, Chennai. Hope and prayers; lots of humility for I have a debt to service and it is a mountain to climb kind of a situation.

            There was a good lesson I learnt first-hand last week. I wrote to Deepak saying, “50 is not the age to start in a new city. Even at Chennai, I would prefer half day’s work. I don’t know how I am going to manage a Gurgaon or Mumbai with arthritis knees and loneliness that comes to an abandoned man.”

            He was brilliant to allay my fears saying, “Gurgaon is international, cosmopolitan and you will get everything including a lot of Tamil community thrown in. Don’t worry and I am sure you will fit in.”  Very few people on earth have this divine quality of quelling someone’s real fears; the worst of us are more familiar in triggering panic attacks.

            I was telling TH Iyer mama, “If I get that Mumbai job offer then I am afraid it will be back to the grind of cheap quarters and long travel in crowded suburbans. I don’t know whether my health can stand up to daily living. At least I know the odds in Besant nagar and I live within my means.”  He was reassuring, “That company is huge and influential in Mumbai and they will help you in finding your quarters.”

            This is a lesson worth cultivation. When someone is scared, a simple reassuring and kind word is just what the doctor ordered. This is sign of culture and good upbringing. Truly to encourage doubting thomases, it is a singular gift I got to observe and learn from Deepak and TH Iyer mama.

            On Saturday I paid a condolence visit to Venkitakrishnan mama’s place and I felt very glad that I did so. I met all the five sons and the fourth son said, “I loved your blogs on my father.” The third son said, “I read line by line of your blogs to my mother and your words gave us a lot of solace.” They gave me a picture postcard of mama with a gold coin and a fantastic filter coffee. This is an incredible family where the sons earned money and gave it to the mother for a common pool. That family is so united and stay together that I thought: in my next birth I wish to be born to such a close-knit and a large family where one is never short of uncles or aunts or cousins and nephews and nieces.” In a cruel world it makes all the more sense for at least the families of siblings to know and relate to each other.

            Yesterday I visited Viji’s place as she turns 56 today. That she has managed mother for over a decade is strength and endurance of a marathon runner. As for me, Dubai collapsed and Gurgaon opens the door. It is time I made it count. I did the enneagram test and I am a type 5 personality. Reading the notes of this type got my pulse racing as it said: observant, curious, inertia for action, loner which is a self-description. So I must read these notes and improve myself by being heedless (I think too much that I wait for problems to solve in the head more often) and get in a bit of an adventurous streak. Let me go to unknown territories and expand my horizon than chewing the cud all the time. This is the first week of losing a dream and starting another and I am glad the mind made all those adjustments on its own. I am great, you know!!!!! I was so happy that Gopalan my third student of the communication classes called from London to enquire of my welfare. I surprise myself all the time.