Mindfulness works

There is something about life which makes it mysterious. Even the best brains, me included, can’t determine the speed and direction of flow of life. My life is a miracle of humongous proportion: Bipolar at 21, heart surgery at 29, TS and Swami Paramarthananda at 29, first writing job at 37, first girlfriend at 38, first dump at 40, Theni where I almost died of a paid suicide at 47 and now couple of years later, I have never been better; in the best of health and spirits as they say.

            For me MINDFULNESS was the cornerstone. Whatever I learnt before integrated into some solid healing and oasis of peace. This year I was listening to Shauna Shapiro’s “What you practice becomes stronger” and Kristin Neff’s Self-compassion which is a masterpiece.

            Dr. Kristin talks about the comparative merits of Self-esteem and how self-compassion is more comprehensive and an effective tool. She really is a wonder woman having to deal with a messy divorce and an autistic child; she speaks with a lot of poise and leaves me feeling soothing and better of myself. Her three components of self-compassion: Self-kindness, shared humanity and Mindfulness is a masterpiece for a working definition and practice. Also how a reptilian brain in us produces Adrenalin for “fear and flight” response and our mammalian response of intimacy and self-assurance can iron the mental voltages spikes. I heard her Ted talk and god, that set me thinking for the next two days.

            For me MINDFULNESS is not just a buzzword or an impressionable pinup slogan to impress the world. It saved my life and so I practice it almost half my waking hours.  It works and my life is infinitely richer. I was travelling to Thrissur by Alapuzha Express that leaves Chennai Central at 9:05 pm and I found myself sandwiched between two coupes of a boisterous marriage party. There were more than dozen – kids in the age-group of 6 to 14 running around – and making a nuisance to everyone around. The clock hit 11:00 and I just could not slip into sleep try however much. I curbed my tongue and then told the head of the family, “This is an overnight train journey and please we also deserve a bit of sleep and less of noise. Kindly don’t outrage us with his non-stop vociferous merry making.” The noise continued as I practiced MINDFULNESS telling myself: They are out to enjoy themselves, possibly relations meeting in ages and over-excited children who were similar to me when I was young. I am SORRY for myself for destiny placing me in the worst seat in the train but what the hell, this is how I must have sounded to others with my big bass mouth. So take it as a lesson. Bite your tongue.” Once I accepted the noise and commotion, I fell asleep. Nature always works if you keep the troublesome mind out of the way.

            For me, I am amazed by the flow of life in my time. Lousy parents made me grow to this level of maturity, I sincerely thank the Sindhi woman for deserting me. Otherwise I would have missed this wonderful nectar. Today I dare say that there are not very many in India with my intuitive knowledge of working of the mind processes. It’s not a brag, once I knew how to heal myself and now I can heal just about any other mind if it seeks my support.

            Kerala was soothing for the nerves and pleasing to the eyes. It is a state overflowing with green vegetation for the eyes. The people are graceful, there are no shouting mobs in India’s most literate state. Guruvayur temple attracts thousands of devotees and most of them feed solids to the babies the first time here. So I got to see hundreds of young families with the fathers carrying their 8 months in the nook of their arms. The Kerala women is a postcard of beauty in white saris that come with gold embroider. Again no shouting or squealing or whining or dominating women, they behave with a lot of poise in a public place. Two days in Kerala and I even thought I would be fortunate to romance a Mallu woman and even settle down here if that OVER-SMART destiny were to line me up for the slaughter. 

           

             I say this for the millionth time: Nature or destiny or God or any super computer that programmes all our lives is 100% accurate. You get your medicine of experience when you are ready, you only learn when you are open and able to see a pattern amidst the humdrum and noise of life. Take me for example, 3 years back I would have died selling this Besant nagar home and now I am so light-hearted and happy and even feeling that it is a good riddance. I am blessed with a lot of friends but I still believe that I must strive to be my own best friend a million times in the day. Thank you Kristin Neff for your work on self-compassion, someday I would like to have a dinner with her and Eckhart Tolle and Shauna. Having these three on a dinner table would be nice. The message of this post is simple: make peace with your mind moment to moment and the harvest is always rich.