Retirement plans

My nerves can’t take this much longer.  I have been managing a kitchen from the summer of 2007 and it’s more than 12 years on the clock. Buying groceries – toor dhal, moog dhal and there are two more varieties like kadala paruppu and paitham puruppu (I know I am testing the patience of both Hindi and Tamil readers here but there are no English equivalence) then the old army of mustard, pepper, dhaniya, red chillis, mediyam, table salt, tamarind and more.  Adding to my burdens is the now habitual late-coming of my cook. She was as straight as an arrow of punctuality and efficiency for 9 years and now nearing 60 she is slowing down visibly. Believe me when I say that nothing is more dispiriting to the mind than waiting for a cook with rats running around in your tummy protesting the delay. I am through.

            My simple plan is “find a gated community where there is a kitchen service”. I am spending close to 15 k a month which is a king’s budget for food expenses, outside food however disagreeable to the stomach will easily fit into half that sum. The incentive is no more washing utensils that makes for rushing to the grocer for Vim soap and Scotch brite scrub pads. Living alone is bad enough physically but when there is no emotional support of care of any kind to even decimal proportions then that life is a Greek tragedy. I will try to find a gated community with food facility, some inmates to play a board of carom or even the monotonous chess even if I have to tolerate a gossip on cricket, Modi and movies is not a bad diet rather a dramatic improvement from my recluse current state.

            If I have money rolling off my sleeves, then I will start some inane thing like SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT or Save the Bengal tiger to keep myself busy. The current fad in the city is Rain Water harvesting. It’s not a bad idea to pool in some unemployed youths and go household to household with a pamphlet in hand (where my writing skills will come to play at last) and harangue them with lectures of ground water replenishment and climate change gibberish. Or to prove to my Delhi friends that I am very liberal of temperament, I will write to Modi to make me the Tamilnadu ambassador for girl’s education and gender equality under “beti padhao and beti bachao”. Or join Sadhguru is planting a million saplings wherever he wants me to pitch in. It’s a funny world out there where everyone worries about saving the planet but can’t stand the sight of a neighbor to exchange two words.

            I am becoming an expert in booking cheap airline tickets. I find myself suddenly flying all over with 10 trips in the last 12 months – flew to Delhi twice, then these monthlies to Mumbai. Next week I am taking Vistara to where else but Mumbai for a Vipassana course at Igatpuri. I am clocking a lot of air miles but no earnings to go alongside. Again it's a funny world when a son sits on his dad's wealth without a care in the world. 

            I had a huge headache of filing IT returns where end of July is the last date. Sourcing an auditor is not an easy chore as I found out. Ranga recommended Ramanathan who is  frightfully busy to reply to my clarifications on guideline value certificates, then there was another auditor bloke who kept postponing the meeting (he must be deluged with assignments for this society rewards everyone except a creative writer), another took all my documents and went on a long foreign tour as to be of any utility. Pandian suggested Manimaran at Kilpauk and he is the perfect answer to my prayers – he asked me for “fair market value of the property as on April 2000” and he is optimistic that the IT department has no cause to pinch me. I love his attitude, “This property is your dad’s gift to you. He has already paid his taxes and so the government should have no business meddling its nose.” For this sentiment alone I would widen my wallet!!!!  

            It’s a tough world if you ask me. There are few people who have learnt to CARE for another human being. In our times even husbands and wives try to squeeze happiness from one another as though a tug of war or a power struggle in a corporate. I can understand much of the debasement in values in the 2019 times but one thing my heart will never condone is this ingrained apathy and lack of trust in fellow human beings. Each one is much like the speeding motorist who will rush to beat the traffic signal, he will not pause to consider that there are hundreds waiting on the pedestrian crossing. Such insane self-centeredness is the price we pay for living in a crowded and now heartless society.  

            Of all my friends I feel very grateful to Pandian as a trusted friend. He was the one who purchased my flat and he is the person I rush to for seeking favours like: Can you suggest me a good auditor? Or Can you help me in sourcing a “flat valuator for determining fair market value in 2000” kinds? I also talk to Vivek Banerjee at least once a week when the flow of morbidity is at high tide in the mind. He is another who cares for me and is blessed with a sweet tongue.

            Life as seen by me is bone dry. I am a living testament of an individual in 2019 who is left alone like a flotsam on the seashore. As Dev Anand sings to Hemamalini Pal Bhar Ke Liye koi muze pyar karale, jhootha hi sahi. The mind needs its quota of “jhootha pyar” as much as sleep and food and that’s where my life falls flat. Hopefully the Igatpuri Vipassana does some assuaging, some plaster of paris to cover the wounds of the heart.