Living in Palavakkam

#177

Be it Besant Nagar or Palavakkam the core of my life has not changed; the contour and the template is the same for decades. I have never been an outdoor person given the acute arthritis; this suits me actually. I am a lazy sod for physical labour; even invalids do more walking and outdoors which is fine by me. I am not remotely envious. Rather I am content lying down, or watching a movie or listening to songs or just squander away time when nothing seems right. Nature made me a thinking machine; I don’t want to distract the flow of thoughts to fitful expenditure of physical energy when the mental harvest is so much better.

            Slowly Palavakkam is registering on the mind. My golden 30 min is in the terrace where I chant a few slokas and do a wee-bit of pranayama. I like the night skies, the breeze hits the body hard and I stare at the skies. It is a Aamir Khan staring at empty spaces for a “visionary scholar” pose except I am more original than that fucker. I watched “Jojo Rabbit” this week and felt that we Indians can’t make such a high quality movie for the next hundred years. I loved “Togo” and then “Mary Poppins returns” in this lockdown.

            Slowly I am getting pally with the neighbours. I invited a person home; he happened to be a rare Brahmin in the locality. I shot an exploratory arrow: I am yet to perform a homam in the new house. Could you recommend a priest? kinds. These are half-volleys to a fellow Brahmin – ritualistic by nature and also bonding - where he gets a chance for a lovely cover drive.

            I am steadily recognizing the virtues of my cook, Nalini, which is not apparent at the surface. She vibrates hyper energy; ready to rebut or snap. Meera was friendly and you could even crack a joke and have a laugh. Thangam was the school principal who vibrated a lot of patience and gravitas. Nalini on the other hand is emotionally uptight; it’s difficult to have a conversation. But she is mighty resourceful. She got my ration card registered in a PDS here. This month I was getting sick and tired of sambar; she coaxed me to buy the Idly batter (they come in sachets). Her cooking drives me to despair; there is a certain decisiveness about a brahmin cuisine and try as hard she could never muster. Yesterday she requested a Brahmin lady in the neighborhood to teach her for a week. That lady is a wife of a retired Income Tax officer (so definitely high placed is society) and Nalini brought her to my house for a few free tuition sessions. Palavakkam has that village spirit, even in the grocery store the lady is game for a chat or free advice. I smile heartily and say a few inanities: Modi might lift the lockdown this week or something equally banal. I get a lot of banter from Vijay Agencies where I buy chips and grape juice bottles. Definitely a lot friendlier than Besant Nagar!!!

            The last 4 days I have been listening to OPTIONS online classes – each day there’s almost 6 hours of content and that goes for 5 days.  Just to hear Kapil Mokashi on Options is a privilege. He says, “Teaching Options online is a challenge for both the students and me. I end up having sore throat, but as long as my students benefit it’s no big deal.” Kapil is a kind of man I would like to be in my next birth; he is quiet but put him in front of a classroom and he comes alive. On discipline he said, “You may have the best course material and the best teachers but it’s your own efforts that will tilt the balance. You can’t expect others to do pushups for you!!!” After Mariam Janahi in Bahrain in 2003 I have not come across a person so perfect in demeanor. He is not a friendly person but once he returned my missed call and we spoke for 30 minutes and it felt a privilege. I felt as honored as when Mariam poured tea for me in her house; an Arab inviting you and serving tea is higher in standing than the Nobel peace prize. 

            TH Iyer mama calls me twice a day. He is as regular as a parent. I was telling him, “The first thing I will do after getting the loan is spend a week in Bangalore for knee treatment.” Dhamma Mani Sir knows a place where they take care of body aches and arthritis; he promised to tag me along next month. TH Iyer mama suggested a Ayurveda option in Chennai itself. I will try both; I need a respite from this acute lingering pain. Even if the pain comes down by 25% I will sign half of wealth away for a hyperbole.

            I slowly realize that there are heroes all around. Nalini is a woman of resilience and character. There is a story here but I shall respect her privacy. Kapil is a role-model; these recordings (I applied for this classroom session but I was waitlisted. But they were gracious enough to give access to the recordings) is getting me confident. I feel the twitch of my fingers to resume trading. He is 37 and as classy as the great Mariam Janahi. Both talk as smooth as a Rolls Royce, both use silence more effective than speech something I am yet to learn.  

I am 51 and I am scared; I have lived on my own for more than a decade. Each year is getting difficult. If I can earn in the 2-3 lacs range a month, if my knees get a little better then I can dream of swimming and hiring a guitar instructor. Frankly I don’t wish to give god a natural death, I feel tempted to blast my brains just for kicks. I am a veteran whose time is long up, nothing excites me. Not even the turbulence of the stock market (I am very passionate on my trade plans) or even if Queen of Sheba or Helen of Troy seduces me under a umbrella in those lounge seaters on a Pacific ocean beach. I am too self-immersed to take a female. But that's where living begins, drama starts. And room for disputes and arguments that my nerves can't stand. As of now, let me wait for the loan which is expected this week and bear the knee pains with the patience of a sage. Patience thy name is Sathya.....