True Angels

#139

I have done quite a few blogs on CARING; it’s a recurring theme for me. Each time my mind hits on a new insight on CARE, I rush a blog post.

            There is no skill greater on planet earth than the virtue of care – when someone is in physical or emotional pain, to offer a shoulder of support is heavenly. It’s mark of a man. To turn your back is a trait of a devil, no matter how many candles you light in a church or a wick in a temple you deserve a place in a frying pan.  These are the people who make this planet miserable for friends and relations and to those around, I don’t have the tiniest of doubts here.

            I will never forget this instance of CARE. Manohar is an electrician and we became friendly each time I had an assignment for him – times when a fuse would blow out, or even if the bathroom closet does not flush. He is an artist in such matters, he finds solutions no run-of -the-mill guy can even conjure. Like when the water motor was not sucking in water, he used his mobile as torchlight to find any holes in the PVC pipes. I can keep on singing his praises on his professional side but it was this instance that touched my heart. Last year I told him over phone that I sold my apartment. Next day he comes to the house with a long face saying, “I know how lousy and beaten you may be feeling at this phase of life. I was passing through this way and wanted to meet you.” He is not highly educated but few people are blessed with that level of compassion.
            Yesterday I found that my house-owner would not repair the terrace floor. It’s laid with four inches of cementing when all it needs is to be dug up and re-laid with concrete tiles. It’s a job that would cost over 1 lac of rupees but there is a crying need as the rain water leaks into my bedrooms.  No one would pay 21 k for such a house and I told the owner straight, “You repair this, I stay another term. Or else I vacate.”  She is a Sindhi and as tight-fisted as the worst of them. She engaged a mason for another layer of cementing, I wasted not a moment calling her, “I am vacating by the end of November for this house is not worth the 21 k.” She did not argue though she might not find a tenant for months after I am gone. She is a classic: penny wise, pound foolish caricature. 

            The whole night I was fuming at the injustice of life. This morning I had no energy for SPARRC rehabs. I was smoking more in the hope it might induce a brain seizure or a trigger a heart attack. I called Vivek and he gives relief. He said, “Sathya, try Mylapore or T-nagar where you will get food, I am sure you’ll make new friends there. Remember Besant nagar is not the only place on earth.”

            Then I called Dhamma Mani Sir and when I appraised him saying, “I am finally vacating Besant nagar after three decades. Feel a beaten cat, if I had a gun I might have gone for the temple.” He said, “Sathya, try Shubham Ashiana and they have a wonderful property in Maraimalar nagar. Buy a single bedroom for 25 lacs and your monthly food expenses will not stretch beyond 5 k. I had food there last week and it’s fantastic.” Then he added, “Look when I left Ranipet for Mumbai I had the same doubts of relocating to a new place. A few years in Mumbai, there was again a pain of leaving a familiar place. Same thing when we came back to Chennai and now I am at Mogappair happy and content. Maybe if I have to shift from here to a new place, I will not go through similar emotional pangs of attachment. Look at it this way, you have to go from kindergarten to primary, then secondary, then college and then employment and each new place is a challenge to adapt. I am sure you’re strong enough to face them. Look for food, then slowly spread your wings and new friends will come along.”

            Talking to him I was soon laughing and joking. It just took 10 minutes of the phone for him to connect with my feelings and offer a palliative. When you are staying alone even a minor ant bite looks a shark attack as the mind slips into the darkest hell of insecurity and fears. Each time I am feeling real low to a lousy mood, I call a few angels to get my breath back.

            Balakanth was an exceptional human being, multifaceted in many activities. He was the live-wire of any gathering, his humour was spontaneous but what really connected was his caring quotient. When anyone approached him with a problem, the first thing he would say is, “let’s try.” He would go all out to bring solace. Same with Manikandan and this is true leadership quality – to lift someone when they are down in the dumps. It really does not take much but very few people are blessed in the art of caring and connecting.

            For me the worst caricatures in bipeds are those you approach for help and they turn the other way. Like, I am looking for soft skills opportunity and do you know anyone to network me with? Or I am going out of town for a week, can you please collect the laundry?? Or any of the thousand petty things of the demands of living. When I approach a dork* (which I will realize after the chaffing) for assistance and there's a stoic dead-end for a response, the first thing I do is delete their number from my mobile phone. Not that I wish them bad but I don’t want to transact with such worms again. Deleting ensures I will not have access to them for the mind is weak and if my situation gets me drowning more I may be tempted for another round of begging. Even if you have been praying for a god like those asuras and saints in Amar Chitra Katha comics and the skies open up for a proclamation: Sathya, the Lord is pleased with your devotion. He will personally meet you at 7:00 am IST. Imagine the lord coming for the appointment at 7:05 and you’ll lose all respect. If there is one lesson we'll need to imbibe is "CARING for those around" or else we will all die alone and die no better than worms. I learnt this lesson in 2006  from C Subramanian's son (CS was once the Governor of Maharashtra) when I sought his assistance for a contact on a work assignment. I would call him once a week and each time he would say, "Sathya, give me one more week. Call later." Nothing transpired but I happened to run into him as he explained, "Even I have to approach others for help, there's no harm in anybody approaching me. Remember even Lord Rama had to curry favour with Sugreeva as he said to a classic: everyone needs help at one point or the other. We should try to keep the cycle going. 
* meaning of dork is "a contemptible, socially inept person" (North American; informal)